Humor

Could There Really Be A Ghost at This Gilford, NH Store?

 

SO… A few days ago this video was uploaded to the internet, and since then it has been racking up views. Apparently a ghost comes into the store at the 53 second mark, and shortly after a bowl falls. Is this just pure coincidence? Is it a ghost? Or was it fishing line?

Could it be a coincidence that there was a flash of light and a bowl falling. Yes that is plausible, but in such a quick motion I would say that it’s very doubtful. So could it be a ghost? I’m not going to try to even rap my head around ghosts, but thats the only thing I can think of. I’ve also watched it over and over again, and its definitely not fishing line or string… SO the only thing I can think of is a ghost…. Better call Ghostbusters

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Who Wants To Buy A Replica of a 17th Century Cannon?!?!?

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(T&G)- In 1625, Sweden’s King Gustav II Adolf ordered four new ships to be built. Vasa, the first of the four, was his vision of the greatest warship that had ever existed. Sadly, that vision collapsed when Vasa sank in 1628, during her maiden voyage. Centuries later, when Millbury native Thomas Ward was tasked with re-creating one of Vasa’s 24-pounder cannons for the Vasa Museum in Stockholm, he faced a daunting endeavor of his own.  After receiving his bachelor’s of fine arts in sculpture from the Massachusetts College of Art and Design in 2011, Mr. Ward sought a new challenge. He applied for and was awarded a prestigious Fulbright research grant. Originally, he had planned to work with “historical reproduction axe and tool smithing.” 
However, that “opportunity fell through and by some very good luck and sending a lot of emails, I fell into this project at the right time,” Mr. Ward said.  He arrived in Stockholm in 2012 and embarked on a creative journey that lasted a little more than a year.  The Vasa Museum, which houses the salvaged naval ship, challenged Mr. Ward to put his sculpting skills to the test. Not only did the museum want Mr. Ward to reproduce one of Vasa’s 24-pounder cannons, it wanted him to make a functional reproduction that could be tested on a firing range. Because the Vasa 24-pounder cannon was the heavy weapon of choice by the Swedish military during the Thirty Years’ War, the museum hoped to better understand the capability of the cannon and, consequently, naval warfare in the first half of the 17th century.  Mr. Ward soon realized what an immense task he had before him. While “24-pounder” refers to the weight of the cannon shot, the Vasa 24-pounder cannon itself weighs approximately 3,000 pounds and is 10 feet long. Since the original cannons were in very rough condition, Mr. Ward was charged with making the patterns to create the cannon and all of its intricate parts and ornamentation. He also needed to help solve the many technical problems that arose from re-creating 1620s heavy weaponry. “The main challenge was reverse engineering a 17th-century piece of technology,” said Mr. Ward, who is now back in Millbury. “I had to take a 17th-century object and learn about its process of creation; take that and apply it to modern foundry technology to make a functionally identical object.” 

 

Alright so lets look at this from two angles the serious, and the not so serious. First the serious. This is amazing! To take all this time to create something that is so unique is truly a special thing, and the artists is for sure a brilliant man. The intricacies of this Cannon must have been hell to recreate, but amazingly Ward did it.

Now the less serious side: How awesome would it be to own a cannon? I’d wake up every morning and blast the 1812 overture like it was the fourth of July at the Hatch Shell! I mean thats better than coffee or a wake up call, and it sure as hell beats a rooster. Imagine how fun having this at a party would be too.  Just shooting beer cans and anything else you want into the ether.

Schwarzenegger Buys Himself A Tank

Recently the former Governor of California fulfilled one of his life-long dreams; buying a tank. Or in his words, “Owning my own fucking tank!” Personally, I could not be more terrified with this news. I mean Arnold is a scary guy by himself, but now he’s cruising around LA in his very own killing machine. I mean this is the guy that killed Predator with basically nothing. Imagine what he could do with one of these bad boys. That has to put him on some sort of watch list or something.

Luckily, Arnold seems to have nothing but good intentions for his new toy. With a stroke of brilliance, and maybe a little insanity, the Terminator decided to use his tank for charity. And no, not as a scare tactic. For a mere $10 you can enter for a chance to fuck shit up with the Govenator’s tank. If that doesn’t get you rock hard, I don’t know what will. Win the contest, and  you and your friend will be flown out to LA for an all expenses payed day with the man himself, where you’ll have oodles of fun with one of Hollywoods biggest and most foreign stars. Activities include shattering your self-confidence by working out with the Austrian Oak, smoking stogies (presumably Cuban because he’s rich so, fuck it, right?), and the icing on the cake, crushing whatever the fuck you want in the Govenator’s crushinator.

That was a terrible joke…

Anyways, if you’re lucky enough to win this contest, choosing what to crush can be a difficult choice. I mean, there are so many things that a full scale tank is capable of crushing. Luckily, Arnold’s video gives a few examples of the types of things that can have their day ruined for your entertainment. Things like a piano, a giant egg, a taxi cab, a table full of birthday cakes past, and my personal favorite, an industrial sized roll of bubble wrap. It really shows a softer side to the beast of a man that is Arnold Schwarzenegger. If it were me, I’d crush the one thing I hate more than anything in this world; a smart car. I mean who the fuck would drive one of those things? Sure their good on milage, and better for the environment and all that shit, but come on. Not worth it. But regardless of what is to be crushed, it’s sure to be a great time full of destruction and eastern European accents.

All Proceeds from this contest go to After School Allstars, a charity that funds afterschool programs to help children succeed in school. Learn more at http://www.afterschoolallstars.org/

– Dirty Pat

Busta Rhymes Gets Island Named After Him In Shrewsbury, MA

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(SLATE) – A few years ago, reporter Sean Cole was working on a radio story and needed to interview the rapper Busta Rhymes. Sean was living in Boston at the time, so he did a Google search for “Busta Rhymes” and “Boston” to see if Busta had any upcoming shows that Sean could stake out. Google didn’t return any relevant tour dates. But it did give Sean a map, centering on a tiny speck of land in a neighboring suburb called Shrewsbury, Massachusetts. The tiny speck of land was labeled Busta Rhymes Island. The Boston Globe confirmed that, yes, Busta Rhymes Island Is For Real. The Google Maps listing gives a phone number to call the island. So Sean called. A guy named Kevin O’Brien answered. Kevin is a guy in his early 30s who works in tech support and DJs weddings on weekends. Kevin started canoeing out to the island when he and his wife moved to Shrewsbury about 10 years ago. The island, a 40-by-40 speck of land, is practically in their front yard. Kevin planted blueberry bushes on the island, and there’s a rope swing hanging from one of the trees. He doesn’t just visit the island a bunch, he takes care of the island—he cleans up after the teenagers who leave beer cans lying around. He drinks beer himself on the island, with his wife and their friends. And when you love a place the way Kevin loves this place, you don’t want to refer to it generically. You want to give it a a name. Kevin and a friend decided on Busta Rhymes Island. All Kevin had to do was go on Google Maps and apply a geotag to it. But Kevin wanted the name to stick, so he didn’t stop there. He wanted Busta Rhymes Island to become the island’s official name. Kevin submitted a formal proposal to the U.S. Board on Geographic Names, which decides what the federal government is going to call a piece of land. The Board turned Kevin down—but not for the reasons you might think. For any body of land to be named after a celebrity in a commemorative fashion, that person has to have been deceased for five years. The thinking is that, when someone passes away—especially someone high-profile—it’s an emotional time. Close relatives, friends, and fans want to honor the person. And so the U.S. Board on Geographic Names instituted a five-year cooling-off period, figuring that if someone is still beloved five years after his or her death to the extent that people still want a place named for him or her then, and only then, should naming be considered. Also, a living celebrity can do something heinous. Like that time Busta Rhymes allegedly used a gay slur in a Miami cheeseburger restaurant. Then how do you explain Mark Sandman Square in Cambridge, Massachusetts? Mark Sandman was the lead singer of the Boston-based band Morphine. He died in 1999 after collapsing on stage during a concert in Italy. And then just a year later, a sign honoring him went up on the corner of Brookline Street and Massachusetts Avenue.  It turns out that the five-year rule applies only to geographic features. Public spaces in cities are a different matter entirely. Those are decided by local municipalities, not the Board on Geographic Names. It turns out that Cambridge loves naming places after people. There’s a John T. “Johnny” Collins Square and a Commander Francis X. “Buddy” Foster Square. Robert E. Goodman Road. In fact, some intersections in Cambridge have a different commemorative black sign on each corner. As for Busta Rhymes Island, it might be a while before it can be officially recognized. But you can help. If you find yourself in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, and you ask for directions to Busta Rhymes Island, that counts as “local usage”—one factor that the U.S. Board of Geographic Names looks for when considering a naming proposal.

Busta Rhymes Island! Sounds better than Disney World! I mean how could you not love an island named after one of the fastest rappers of all time. A nice scenic landscape with rhymes to match. Perfect! And even better, it’s in my hometown! So I’m thinking memorial day weekend we throw a rager on Busta Rhymes Island with this guy’s permission and christen the island properly. We could even try to get Busta Rhymes to show up, and rap. I mean this is genius!!!!!!!

 

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Here’s The Final Medal Count….

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Now that the Sochi Olympics are over you probably thought that I’d be done with my whole, “I hate Russia. I don’t care if they say that they’re not communists. The KGB is alive and well” schpele. Well you would be wrong… I mean look at the final Medal count. This had to be fixed. I mean Putin must have been embarrassed that his country which was hosting didn’t top the charts. Thus he fixed the games, probably threatened some judges, and eventually Russia ended up with the most Gold and Silver medals, and the top total Medal count. There’s no way that is not fixed. I smell a conspiracy here, and there’s only one man that can be behind it.

Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin ri

(Sorry for the permanent damage done by this image)

Is This The Best Snowman Ever?

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Let’s just take a minute to look at this beautiful snow man (although based on the Clothing I think its a Woman.) This snowman was found in Worcester by a source who shall remain nameless, but I think that is the best snowman I’ve ever seen. I mean they must have spent hours on that, and had to use ladders to get to the top of the damn thing. What I want to know though is how they raised the top and middle snowball? Was it crane? Was it The Hulk? Who knows but all I have to say is WOO I’m impressed.

So I Think I found A Glitch In NBA Live 14… @2K Send Me NBA 2K14

So I was playing NBA LIVE 14 last night and all of a sudden….. THIS HAPPENED

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I don’t exactly know what this guy is doing. But it looks like he might be digging the NBA LIVE franchises’ grave. I mean I love the game but this started at the beginning of the fourth quarter, and didn’t end till I quit the game. EA get your shit together.

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Arizona Town Infested With Stray Chihuahuas… Wait What?

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(ABC)- Stray chihuahuas are causing a canine conundrum in the west Phoenix neighborhood of Maryvale, Ariz. Not only are animal control officers worried about the health threats from dog bites and unsanitary conditions from feces, but local Phoenix tv station KSAZ says it’s hard for kids to walk to school. Maryvale resident Ray Rios told the tv station “they are out here chasing kids or going yard to yard . . . anywhere in groups of eight to twelve just running around.” BC 15 reports Phoenix-area animal sheltershave dealt with an overflow of chihuahuas in the past. Even the Arizona Chihuahua Rescue Organization says all its foster homes are full. Animal Care and Control officers blame overpopulation. “Part of it is these animals aren’t spayed or neutered, so they’re out looking for a mate and are having babies, which also contributes to the problem,” Melissa Gable, spokeswoman for Maricopa County Animal Care and Control, told ABC News. Residents who spot one of these stray dogs should try to safely trap them in a fenced-in yard and call animal control, Gable also told ABC News. Chihuahuas are an alert breed, but can be sensitive to cold, according to the American Kennel Club. The Arizona Chihuahua Rescue Organization says people should dress this breed in protective clothes when temperatures drop under 45 degrees. If you live in the area and are interested in adoption, head to maricopa.gov/pets.

So Sochi better listen up here because this is how you deal with a dog problem. You don’t exterminate the poor pooches, but catch them and put them in homes. You Russian nuts can’t do anything right, but here in the U.S.A. we do things the right way (Except for anything that goes through the Florida Judicial System i.e. Casey Anthony and George Zimmerman.) So take that Mr. Putin and learn how a real superpower does. The cold war may be over, but we were definitely the victors.

Now back to the article. Now this whole thing is hilarious little Chihuahuas running the streets of Arizona in gangs attacking kids. I mean the mental picture is funny and terrifying all at the same time, but lets hope that this issue gets resolved, and that these dogs find homes.